The Secret to Discipline

Written by a member of King’s Hill—Hannah Urh.

It has taken me a lot of years to recognize the importance of spiritual disciplines. I mean, of course I knew they were important. But I knew it like I know eating a salad is good for me. Sure, in theory it'd be nice to regularly give my body a heaping dose of good nutrients, but also, have you seen a salad? When it comes down to it, 90% of the time I'm just not going to choose to shovel leaves into my mouth. I know what I need to know, and what I need to do, but at the end of the day, that knowledge doesn't mean anything if it isn't coupled with a change in what I desire. 

I knew that discipline was necessary to live a life for Christ, and yet I floundered for so long on spiritual highs and lows because what I knew was powerless against what I wanted. And what I wanted changed every day. It's a very dangerous way of viewing life that often just feels normal. Nobody can say they wake up every single day feeling the way they should. But if most of us feel like we're consigned to living a life forever chained to our whims, then how does anyone do it? Personally, I thought some people were just better. They had the discipline I didn't, or the drive that I'd find later if I just gave it some more time. I even did what I was supposed to - I prayed and read the Bible. And it worked! Until it didn't. 

If you, like me, have spent many years trying to practice spiritual disciplines (bible reading, prayer, fasting, worship, etc) but always seem to come up short - I have good news for you. You can find the answer in the gospel.

I think most of us use biblical spiritual disciplines as if they were just another version of a works based religion. Like the Pharisees, we think that if we do certain things, they will make us godly. Not surprisingly, that leads to a lot of burnout. There's a new movement of exvangelicals that are leaving the church because of just that feeling. They are tired of living under the law. Who wouldn't be? Jesus wasn't giving us a Christian cliche when He said, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) It's the only true form of rest we can have, and it will create the exact opposite of burnout for those who find it. 

But like the way of a sinner, I lived much of my life trying in vain to do the right thing. And the root of that practice wasn't a desire to please God - it was a desire to appease God. I wasn't falling on my knees in the light of the gospel. Instead, I was teetering between shame and self righteousness. I was really, really trying. Which was the problem. I wasn't rooted in the gospel. 

If the gospel feels overstated to you and there's a part of you that is exasperated when someone brings it up again in a conversation, that, very simply, means you're living far from it. Though we preach to others that the gospel is good news, we rarely preach it to ourselves. Which is the worst practice a Christian could adopt - thinking they are above the gospel. As if it doesn't relate to every single thing we do. 

Christians can't live dual lives. There isn't the Christian realm and the secular realm. Paul calls out that way of thinking by clarifying the dichotomy in Romans 8:5 - "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires." There isn't a both/and option. There is only everything we do in submission to Christ. But if you aren't living in that truth, then you are going to live an exhausted life. One where you restart each year thinking that it'll be different than all the others before it and each year you'll realize that's not the case. You can't change what you do unless who you are changes first. And the gospel isn't an occasional fix for your life, it is the lifeblood of it. 

Let me give you a real life example of how this plays out practically. When I have free time and I pick going down a YouTube rabbit hole of dumb videos (embarrassingly, my Achilles heel) instead of reading the book I set out to finish on how to form healthy habits (ironic), my actions make a statement about where my heart is at. I would rather busy/distract myself with things that I couldn't even fool myself into thinking matter, than discipline my mind to love God better. Look, I'm not going to try and vilify every time you've chosen some form of entertainment over reading a book, or practicing a hobby. But if we're honest, those choices are mostly made because we believe the lie that we can live dualistic lives. That we live for eternity and earthly things. And you can know that's what you believe if that's the way you live. But maybe you do watch things that stir up your love for and joy in Christ and compel you to have honest and God exalting conversations with friends. That's not only possible - that's the goal. But for the majority, much of the time, it's an out. God is tiring, TV is relaxing. 

And that's exactly what I'm speaking to when I say that we need the gospel. If time with God makes you tired, but binge watching Netflix helps you relax - you are on the path of the exvangelical. We need discipline, and we need to do it with the right desire. And the only thing that will right your desire is Jesus. I write all of this because this is my daily battle. There is a war in my soul every minute, and I'm a fool if I think that any decision I make is neutral. You're either fighting for righteousness or you're fighting against it. Thankfully, God promises that if you come near to Him, He will come near to you (James 4:8). So the fight will never be in vain.

Knowledge alone won't bring the change you need, and desire without discipline will wane. You need to know, desire, and fight for what you believe and it's not going to be easy. I'll close on this prayer by A. W. Tozer that has given me better words to pray for this constant fight:

“O God, I have tasted Your goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want You; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Your glory, I pray, so that I may know You indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow You up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.”

If you’re looking for a Boston church to call him, we’d love for you to visit King’s Hill.