Navigating Mentorship

If you’ve ever had a good mentor, you know how beneficial it is to have someone who has been in our shoes to guide and advise you. We often see mentorship in career contexts, but good spiritual mentorships not only address the most crucial aspect of our lives, but it has rippling effects into every area of our lives. Good spiritual mentors point us to Christ as they help us see our sin tendencies, speak truth from scripture, and challenge us to greater obedience.

Why mentor?

So why exactly should we try to mentor others? Simply put: because the Bible says to. Jesus calls us to make disciples of all nations in the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) and specifically to “teach them all I have commanded you”. As we learn what obedience looks like, we need to pass those lessons on to those who are younger in their faith. But this process doesn’t happen overnight. Effective, life-on-life teaching takes time, intentional effort, and a stable relationship. Spiritual mentorship plays a key part in how we obey the Great Commission.

Be mentored

A direct way to understand what it takes to mentor well is to be mentored well. First, you get an inflow of wisdom into your life to pull from as you teach others. A pitcher that is getting filled has more to pour out. Plus you can see how they react to what you share, how they talk about tough topics, and what things they encourage you in. When do they buckle down and push you? When do they comfort you? How do they teach you?

Whether we have an earthly mentor or not, we can look to Christ as the ultimate mentor. He is the ultimate teacher, role model, and wise counselor. When we sit under God’s word and align ourselves with what the Spirit is teaching us, we have everything we need to mentor others.

Be a friend

I’m not saying it is impossible, but it can be difficult and risky to start mentoring someone you barely know. Without a solid relational foundation, there may not be enough trust to really dive deep and foster full transparency with your mentee. People open up to those we find trustworthy, non-judgmental, and genuinely caring. We can begin to pursue Christ-centered friendship by caring about their lives – the big things and the small things. And it is easier to be transparent with someone who has already been transparent with you. So the more you’re honest about your spiritual walk, the more comfortable they’ll feel to be honest with you.

Ask good questions

If we look to Christ as the ultimate mentor, we see that he often responds to questions with a question. He often takes their question deeper and gets down to the “why”. Usually there is a root sin, issue, or lie behind their struggles that needs to be exposed. If we don’t help them find the root cause, we can misunderstand the whole situation and miss the mark in how we address it. But once the true source is identified, you can step in comfort where there is pain, teach where knowledge is lacking or incorrect, and point them towards Christ at every turn.

Point to scripture

Ultimately, we don’t want our mentees to be spiritually dependent on us forever. They need to learn how to mine wisdom from the source of truth: God’s word. The hope is to be able to back up our input with scripture (Hebrews 3:13). I know that this can seem intimidating, and personally this I could grow a lot in this area, but we should strive to open the Bible as much possible in mentoring conversations. 

As we continually point back to the Word, we show the importance of individual biblical literacy. Teaching someone how to study the Bible and apply it to their lives is far more valuable than spoon feeding wisdom long-term. This is what will help prepare them to mentor and disciple others!

Boil it down

A lot of times, mentoring conversations can take many turns and a lot of little pieces of wisdom can be thrown out in one sitting. Without a big takeaway or action step, your mentee may leave feeling refreshed but still unsure about exactly what to do next. At the end of a conversation, try to reduce your input down into a sentence or two – whether it’s a truth to remember or a challenge to obedience. That way they can easily remember, apply, and pass on that concept to others. It also helps you remember what to ask about next time you meet!

Circle back

Good accountability happens when we follow up on previous conversations. Ask if they’ve applied the takeaway from the last time you met. In my experience, you’ll get a shorter initial answer, but after some gentle probing you can get the longer, more honest story. From there, you can encourage them in where they’ve grown or followed through on commitments. Don’t underestimate how impactful it is to say, “I’m proud of you”. But don’t be afraid to push and challenge them towards radical obedience to the Lord. Your mentorship relationship should be a comfortable place for growth and encouragement and an uncomfortable place for sin and complacency.  

Live it out

Almost every piece of advice is easier said than done. Take a moment and ask yourself if you’re living out the truth you’re teaching. Leading by example prevents hypocrisy and presenting that example with humility prevents appearing to be on a moral high horse.

Additionally, take every opportunity to say, “let’s do that together!” Asking them to pray about something? Pray with them. Recommending fasting? Fast with them. Challenging them to cut down on screen time? Challenge yourself too. Solidarity is encouraging and powerful and it lets them know they’re not alone in a very tangible way.

Mentorship is a huge blessing, whether you’re on the giving or receiving end. It is beautiful to watch God use the experience and wisdom He has given you play a part in someone else’s growth. It should lead us to our knees in worship. What a privilege to be used by God and to see Him glorified in another’s life! Praying that He gives you opportunities to love others through mentorship.