Guilt and Shame Part 1: What's the Difference?

This semester, I have found myself in quite a few conversations with friends and disciples about shame and guilt. Some were stuck in a feeling of shame that they couldn’t shake, some were feeling shame imposed by others, and others were just wondering the difference between guilt and shame, which are often used interchangeably. Shame and guilt are universally felt and the Bible talks about them frequently, but do we really understand them? Christians often hear things like “the cross erased my guilt and shame” but what does that mean for those lingering feelings that gnaw at our consciences? 

Guilt and Shame: Fraternal Twins of the Fall

I came across this quote that I think succinctly describes the relationship between guilt and shame: 

“Though Guilt and Shame are twins, born in the garden, only moments apart, they aren’t identical. Guilt is usually tied to an event: I did something bad. Shame is tied to a person: I am bad. Guilt is the wound. Shame is the scar. Guilt is isolated to the individual. Shame is contagious.”

- Daniel Dewitt, “The Difference Between Guilt and Shame” from The Gospel Coalition.

Guilt and shame can often feel very similar but the distinction becomes clear when we see guilt as the cause and shame as the effect. When we sin and acknowledge that we’ve done wrong, we feel guilty. This guilt affects how we see our identity by revealing our depravity and the emotion morphs into shame.

We see this progression unfold in the garden. In Genesis chapter 3, Adam and Eve sin in verse 6 and in verse 7 we see guilt unfold, “The eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked.” With newly-opened eyes, they acknowledge and internalize the guilty verdict of their rebellion. This turns into shame as they hide their nakedness from each other in verse 7, and hide from God in verse 8. They see that their true, depraved identity is exposed and they know they cannot stand in front of a holy God with their sinfulness on display. 

Does God Use Guilt & Shame for Good?

I think we can all agree that guilt and shame are not pleasant feelings. In classic human tendency, we try to find ways out of feeling. There are a few ways we often naturally respond to shame that comes from sin: pridefully overcompensating, lowering standards for sin, or ruminating in self-pity. Western culture usually defaults to the first two, saying things like, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a good person and you’re doing your best!” or “You’re just doing what’s best for you. What’s wrong with doing something that makes you happy?” Other cultures may blow that shameful identity out of proportion which allows the shame to color a person’s entire perspective of themself. Side note: there’s a lot more we could go into about how cultures emphasize guilt and shame differently. Check out this blog for more info. 

But how does God want us to view guilt and shame? Let’s look at a couple of scripture passages: 

“O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens. From the days of our fathers to this day we have been in great guilt. And for our iniquities we, our kings, and our priests have been given into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity, to plundering, and to utter shame, as it is today.” - Ezra 9:6-7

“To you, O Lord, belongs righteousness, but to us open shame, as at this day, to the men of Judah, to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and to all Israel, those who are near and those who are far away, in all the lands to which you have driven them, because of the treachery that they have committed against you. To us, O Lord, belongs open shame, to our kings, to our princes, and to our fathers, because we have sinned against you.” - Daniel 9:7-8 

Here we see that guilt and shame are appropriate responses to sin. God gives us these examples (and many more - especially in Israel’s continual idolatry in the New Testament) where guilt and shame are clearly deserved because all fall short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23). Guilt and shame are instrumental in understanding a key aspect of the gospel - our depravity. They are shadows of the condemnation we deserve for our sins. And reckoning with that reality exposes our need for a savior. Thank goodness the Holy Spirit convicts us and lets us feel shame - it helps us understand the true depths of our salvation. 

Want to know how believers should deal with guilt and shame? Or how to identify misplaced shame? Check out Part 2 of this blog here!