Have you ever known that you need to have a hard conversation with someone, but you try everything to avoid it because you know it will be difficult? Perhaps you hear a friend make an off-hand comment that goes against the biblical worldview that you believe as Christian but you don’t have the nerve to say anything in response. Even more likely, someone has sinned against you and they’ve hurt you and confronting them about it feels next to impossible.

This week in my Life Group we talked about how important it is for us as Christians to be Salt and Light to those that are within our spheres of influence. If we are to be advancing the Kingdom of God in our culture than it is crucial that we first be seeking to be right spiritually with God and that we encourage them to be reconciled and made right before God as well. Several in our group noted how hard it can be to talk to friends they have known for many years about how their faith has impacted their lives. Yet, with those in the church that they have known for a relatively short time it is easier to talk about personal things. Conversations are easier to have with others when the views being shared are culturally popular.

Following this Life Group discussion I was reading 2 Corinthians 2:1-11. The apostle Paul, who wrote 2 Corinthians, had previously visited the church in Corinth as it was in turmoil and the opposition he faced when speaking to them during that visit was very painful (v. 1). Following this visit he wrote another letter to them out of “much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears” (v.4). The conversations Paul is having with the people who made up the church at Corinth were extremely difficult. Yet, Paul had those difficult conversations. In the rest of this passage we see three heart motivations that should encourage us to do the same with those in our lives.

1. Love for Others

Paul writes, “I wrote to you…to let you know the abundant love that I have for you” (v.4). Paul’s words to them had been difficult and he knew they had caused others great pain (v. 2). To not address the issues though would be unloving. If the worldview of others is leading them away from God and to destruction than the only loving response is to have the hard conversation and try and plead for them to turn back to God. Hard conversations very likely will cause the other person pain, but a true love for others will force you to have these hard conversations.

2. True Forgiveness

There was a group in the church that was actively opposing and working against Paul. Imagine faithfully sharing the truth of Christ, calling others to repentance, pointing them to godliness and yet being confronted at every turn by this individual. My flesh side would be incredibly weak, I would feel hurt and very discouraged. Others in the church were responding favorably to Paul’s message and now the attacks cause them pain as well (v.5). They have removed this person that was opposing Paul from the church but it seems they won’t forgive him.

Paul reminds us that hard conversations are necessary and they are to be restorative. This opposer seems to be returning and asking for forgiveness from the church for his actions. In other words, the conversations are having their intended results. Spirit-filled believers should 1) forgive and comfort [others] (v. 7), 2) don’t overwhelm them with guilt or “excessive sorrows” for their previous actions (v. 7), and 3) “reaffirm your love for [them]” (v. 8). This is what true forgiveness looks like when having hard conversations.

3. Joy in God

Engaging in difficult conversations comes out of a desire to bring glory to God and be faithful to his command to make disciples of others. The church gathered in unity around Christ is suppose to be encouraging to one another which leads us to rejoice. Paul encourages us to seek the joy found in God that can be found in repentance that stems from hard conversations. The church reunited together was an occasion for rejoicing, “for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all.” It is right for you to desire joy in God that will flow out of having hard conversations.

Being Salt and Light is not easy, and engaging in hard conversations doesn’t come naturally. If you have a genuine God-given love for others, if you are seeking true forgiveness, and desire joy found in God then it will be much easier to have these conversations. May you be encouraged by Paul to have more hard God-honoring conversations with those in your life.