Confessions of a Sin Lover: Busy (2/3)

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Maybe you’ve read my other confession. This saying is trustworthy: I sin, not because I’m forced to—no, I sin because I want to. My loves are in the wrong place or on the wrong things. But I don’t want you to know that. I don’t want you to see my sin. I shared with you one of my good hiding spots: hide behind the tree of critique. But I have more hiding spots than just the one. When the sun comes up and the shadows start to run and disappear, I must find other cover. So, let me share with you where else I go to stay in my sin: preoccupation. It’s about staying busy with good things so I don’t have to bother with God things.

I’ve found a lot of advantages to staying busy:

No one really knows me. What if someone were to ask, am I pursuing holiness? Am I fighting sin in God’s presence? Am I asking God to search my heart and uncover my faults? I don’t like these questions, so I’ll make sure to stay busy so people don’t have time to ask them. Plus, staying busy with good things helps convince myself that I’m doing alright: diving into school, putting in a lot of volunteer hours, working hard at my job. When I think about all the stuff I’m knocking out, it’s easy for me to say, “I’m doing great.”

No time for reflection means no time for correction. I don’t want any margin in my life. A slower pace or moments of silence could give way for the Holy Spirit to talk to me, rebuke me, point me to righteousness. It’s easy to hit the Ignore button to God’s calling when the schedule is filled. Phones and TV’s are excellent tools, too. When I’m nervous about time opening up, I’ll often go to these. The point is simple: 1-1 time with God might be confrontational. He might bring my sin to light, so I have to make sure I’m never alone with my thoughts.

Ignorance is bliss. There can be quite a bit of peace running from the truth. If I read the Bible, I might feel obligated to respond. It would probably beckon action. But I’m comfortable as I am. Staying ignorant keeps me from making any moves. Certainly, I’m not accountable or responsible for what I don’t know. The best way to stay ignorant of God is to stay busy with the world.

So if I want to stay hiding in my sin, another tree to hide behind is that of preoccupation. You just have to make sure you don’t take to heart what Jesus says in the Parable of the Great Banquet (Luke 14:15-24). Choose to believe instead that if you put your well-being, your relationships, and your career/business over Jesus then you’ll be fine. No, that’s not what Jesus says. But find something to do so you don’t have to think about that too much.

If you’re looking for a Boston church to call him, we’d love for you to visit King’s Hill.

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Confessions of a Sin Lover: Obedience in Disguise (3/3)

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Confessions of a Sin Lover: Blame (1/3)