An Open Letter to the Church Shopper
As college students are getting settled on campus for the year and as many are coming out of a season of virtual church, we find ourselves in the middle of a church-shopping season. People are ready to get plugged into a church but they aren’t sure which church to pick, so they explore their options, visiting a new church every Sunday until they feel ready to settle and commit. Some even plan to visit each church multiple times until they make a decision. There are definitely some key things to consider and common misconceptions to steer away from in this process. So if you find yourself church-shopping right now, I would love to come alongside you to help narrow down your criteria and maybe challenge you in your search for a biblical, healthy church.
Disclaimer: although I would love for you to join King’s Hill, the greatest win is that you join a church that can help you serve and grow according to God’s word. There are wonderful churches in Boston that will do just that and if you decide to commit to one of those churches, I will rejoice in knowing that is where God has placed you.
Consumer vs Contributor Mindset
If we aren’t careful, we can easily and unknowingly treat the search for a church like browsing through Netflix to find a good show. By innocently focusing on growing our own faith, we can neglect to consider how we can serve others. We look for things that appeal to our personal preferences instead of ways to serve and meet the needs of those around us. And when we start our church search in a consumer mindset, we set ourselves up to be inactive, critiquing church-goers instead of kingdom-minded, service-oriented church members.
When visiting a church, a question you can ask yourself is “if the church is the body of Christ, how can I be an active member of this body, helping it to grow and be built up in love?” (Eph. 4:11-16). Are there places for you to use the gifts the Lord has given you to grow the kingdom?
Another helpful thing to consider is the church’s membership process and expectations. Do they treat membership as merely a formality or do they hold members accountable to being active participants in community? If you aren’t sure of what good church membership should look like, I highly encourage you to read Church Membership by Jonathan Leeman. You can get a free copy of this book from the resource table at King’s Hill on Sundays!
Solid Preaching
In talking with those who are looking for a church to attend, I often ask what people are looking for in a church. Almost everyone says something like “solid preaching”. But it can be difficult to find the line between preaching that sounds solid and preaching that is solid. Once we know what to look for, we can have a better understanding of what makes for good, biblical teaching.
A great thing to look for is expository preaching. Expository preaching centers the sermon around scripture, looking toward the original meaning of a Bible passage to mold and shape the topic of the message. Pastors who preach this way will pull their topics from scripture rather than using scripture to support their pre-existing points. If a pastor is preaching expositionally, they’ll likely break down a passage verse-by-verse, amplifying and explaining the truths revealed in scripture. This is important because expository preaching consistently points to scripture as the exclusive and sufficient source of truth. (Bonus points if they preach through books of the Bible!)
God’s word is faithful to call us out on our sin and point us to repentance. Are we looking for teaching that echoes those same convictions? It can be really easy to be drawn to fluffy messages that always feel good and never challenge us. But is that what is healthiest for our walk with Jesus?
So when listening to a sermon, I would encourage you to ask yourself some questions like, “Are they extracting their points from scripture or are they using scripture to back up their points? Is the main point of the sermon the main point of the passage they’re preaching from? Is there a call to repentance?” These questions can help us practically discern what is/isn’t solid preaching.
Good Community
Another thing people often say they’re looking for while church shopping is “good community”. This is a worthwhile thing to ponder, as we all need brothers and sisters in Christ to care for one another, do life together, and push each other towards greater degrees of holiness. We cannot walk the Christian life alone. The question is, are we hoping to find good community or build it?
If we’re looking to find good community, let’s take a moment to unpack exactly what indicators we’re looking for. I suspect that many of us haven’t thought too hard about it, but subconsciously we’re just looking for good vibes from the congregation when we visit on a Sunday morning. But could it be possible that the vibe you get on Sunday is very different from the vibe in small groups? I also wonder if our own attitudes and emotions affect how we gauge those vibes.
I also wonder if we’re looking for people like us. College students look for college students. Young professionals look for young professionals. Families look for families. It’s understandable to want to be with people who relate to you and are going through the same life stage. But what if we explored the benefits of multi-generational friendship and mentorship? Imagine the variety of wisdom and insight that can be shared between people from different contexts and experiences. College students: you won’t be a college student forever. What if you could learn from working professionals, parents, and spouses by building meaningful relationships with them during your college career? And if you’re a college student involved in a campus ministry, you’re already getting peer-to-peer relationships there. So the local church can be a wonderful place to practice inter-generational fellowship, which will last you beyond graduation!
Even with the right indicators in place, I want to encourage us to practice the contributor mindset here. My hope is that we don’t walk into community seeking only to gain from those relationships, but to invest in them as well. Deep, life-giving relationships are not one-way streets and they don’t happen in one Sunday morning. What if we approach church shopping expecting to pour into relationships intentionally and patiently? When we’re new to a church, it’s easy to expect for others to reach out to us to get to know us. But what if we walked in with the intent to get to know individual members of that church?
Discipleship Opportunities
We all share in one holy calling: to make disciples of all nations (Matt. 28). We can live out this command through discipleship: walking alongside believers who are younger in their faith in order to help them grow as disciples of Jesus.
I would highly encourage looking for a church that prioritizes discipleship. Is there a way for more mature believers to pour into you and help you take the next step in your faith? And do they have a way to equip you to do the same for others? There are many ways to approach this, but the most important question is “Do they have a plan for discipleship?”
Commitment Precedes Certainty
Being connected to a healthy church is vital to growing in our walks with Christ. Of course we don’t want to blindly choose a church community, but it can be easy to spend too much time trying to sort through all your preferences and waiting for undeniable certainty to fall in your lap. Friends, if a church matches all of your main priorities, commit. There is something beautiful in trusting the Lord to bring certainty, ease apprehensions, and remove barriers when you step in faith and say yes to a church. If you’re like me, it can be easy to stress or put off decisions because there is a lack of confidence in any option. But let’s be honest, nothing is more confirming than hindsight - when we can look back and see how God used our commitment to produce something fruitful.
If you’ve visited a biblical, healthy church that you like, put down roots now so you can soak up nourishment sooner rather than later. Every week spent at the surface level of the church experience is a week of deep impact lost. Sunday mornings should be full of rest and spiritual refreshment but the longer you church shop, the more exhausting and discouraging it gets. College students: if you spend the first 6-8 weeks of your fall semester church shopping, you only have a few weeks left before Thanksgiving, then finals, and then winter break. The end of the semester and breaks between semesters tend to be spiritually exhausting times. Is your current church shopping experience setting you up for sustained growth or for burnout this semester?
Church shopping has the potential to be a stressful and draining process. But committing to a church is such a fruitful endeavor. I pray that God gives you discernment to scope out a biblical church and the boldness to commit even where there is uncertainty. The Lord is at work through the local church, especially in Boston. If you are church shopping right now, I hope you can jump in and join one soon!