How Can I Grow in Patience?
A member of my immediate family (I won’t say who) has a habit of anxiously tapping their foot while waiting for anything and I tend to get unreasonably annoyed at repetitive noises. It’s a terrible combination. Their restlessness sparks a restlessness in me and suddenly we are both on razor’s edge, ready to snap at each other. Both of us lack patience but in two different ways.
Sometimes it can be easy to think we’ve grown in patience, but that’s because our definition of patience is far too narrow. Maybe the person who doesn’t get road rage gets easily frustrated when they don’t complete a task as quickly as they’d like. Maybe the same parent that asks their kids to stand still in the line for a rollercoaster is also quick to snap when their kid misbehaves. If we actually consider the scope of patience, we may find that we are patient in some ways but not others; we all still have room to grow.
Which scenario is more challenging for you?
Having to wait on something outside of your control. Example: the waiting room at the DMV.
Choosing to slow down when you want to be reactive or impulsive. Example: holding back from interrupting the person that just said your favorite movie was horrible.
Calm Restraint
Ephesians 4:1-3, James 1:19-20
Those who prefer to make decisions on the fly, who struggle to hold their tongue, and who have a hard time releasing control, could probably afford to grow in calm restraint. When we instinctively reach for anxious or angry reactions, we often end up acting or speaking before we get the chance to experience the beauties of patience: supernatural peace, wise discernment, and Christlike forbearance.
How can we foster calm restraint? Start by taking stock of the common ways your impatience is triggered. Next time those situations occur, take a little more time than usual to take a step back, take a few deep breaths, pray (even if it’s a one-sentence prayer), and return to the issue after your heart rate slows down.
Joyful Fortitude
James 1:2-4
Those who struggle to understand slow-moving situations, who are quick to complain in suffering, and who lose sight of the big picture when the details don’t resolve quickly could afford to grow in joyful fortitude. When we are so focused on the distant finish line, we can forget to keep a strong, steady pace now. We miss out on the beauty of the process, the opportunities to be faithful in waiting, and the joy of relying on God to be our strength.
How can we foster joyful fortitude? By looking for opportunities to rejoice and obey, especially when we are tempted to complain and resist. We can humbly pray for strength and renewed joy that is rooted not in our circumstances, but in the unchanging character of God.
Both sides of patience boil down to the same virtue: trusting God. We can trust Him to handle our unideal circumstances and we trust Him to guide us in slower deliberation. He is the ultimate picture of patience - Jesus did not snap at the ones who crucified Him and He willingly endured a slow death on a cross. We can rely on Him to supply the patience necessary to endure and restrain anything we encounter in life.