Is FOMO Biblical?
We’ve all been there. There’s an opportunity to do something fun with other people FOMO (fear of missing out) is an all-too-familiar emotional response to realizing you’ve been left out of something you’d like to be involved in.
This is a widely experienced phenomenon, reaching across cultural and generational divides, but seems to hit particularly hard in one’s teens and twenties - the expected peak of a person’s social life. There are so many experiences we desire to do and when those opportunities present themselves, it’s often difficult to say no, especially when others are doing it without us. And when we do miss out, we feel a small sense of grief and loneliness, like we’ve lost the opportunity to share an amazing experience with others. So in this day and age, we’ll do anything to avoid that feeling, to avoid missing what feels like a once-in-a-lifetime social experience.
The Christian faith is meant to impact every aspect of our lives, including our friendships and recreation. So as our faith and social lives overlap more and more, the question becomes, “what is a Biblical view of FOMO?”
One thing is clear, if the FOMO arises for an activity that is sinful or could easily lead to sin, something in our hearts needs to change. We need the Holy Spirit to provide us strength and faithfulness to resist worldly temptation, even if it means we feel left out. If you frequently find yourself feeling FOMO for social activities that go against God’s word, consider how your social circle needs to change to avoid exposing yourself to temptation.
But not all enjoyable experiences are sinful! Faithful Christians have fun together all the time. What if we feel FOMO for wholesome social experiences?
The Bible is clear about the need for the church - a community of believers committed to gathering, worshipping together, serving together, and caring for one another (Acts 2, Acts 4, Ephesians 4, 1 Corinthians 12, 1 John 4, Romans 12, etc.) When you read those passages, you’ll see many expectations for what this community should look like. What you won’t see in those passages is an exhortation to share fun experiences together. I’m not saying it’s unbiblical to hang out with people - the Bible speaks of enjoying the blessings we’ve been given, and some of those could be group experiences! But doing fun things together is not a core tenet of a Christ-centered community, even if it feels like it should be. A truly healthy community will prioritize the “one another”s of scripture, and fun experiences will come as a by-product of joy-filled friendships. Again, there’s nothing wrong with hanging out and making plans together. The issue is when our hearts value those moments over the commands of scripture - to love one another as Christ has loved us. Too often we are more devastated by missing an opportunity to hang out than missing an opportunity to serve.
So does that mean we should never be afraid of missing out on something? No! There are plenty of godly things to crave experiencing!
God is doing great work all around us and we are probably unaware of 99% of it. He is showcasing His character through His creation. He is drawing those who were far off closer into intimacy with Him. He is providing in abundance to the needy. And He is using His people to bring Himself glory in the mundane and in the grandiose. His good work on Earth began when He created everything, it has endured through countless generations, and will come to total fruition in eternity’s future. And He is asking you to play a role in this good work, which is the greatest experience in all of humanity.
When we begin to ask God to reveal how He is working all around us, He gives us a desire to get involved. He will reveal to us the ways we can step in faith into something truly extraordinary and, until we actually follow through, there could be a feeling of missing out! I remember when I saw the leaders of my college ministry serving in cool ways and discipling other college students. I heard them talk about how much they were growing and how they were seeing God use their gifts and I got serious FOMO. I didn’t want to miss the chance to serve as a leader, to jump in on the ministry God was already cultivating. So I applied and saw a new kind of fruitfulness I would’ve missed out on had I let the opportunity pass me by.
What we feel left out of says a lot about what we desire, what we prioritize. The feelings that come with FOMO aren’t necessarily the issue, it’s the nature of the experience we’re fixated on. Our FOMO could either be directed towards experiences that are sinful, spiritually insignificant, or God-honoring.
My recommendation: sift through the situations you have felt the most FOMO for. Then ask God what He is doing around you and how He wants you to be a part of it. Through His word and the voice of the Holy Spirit, He will begin to show you the kinds of experiences that are truly fulfilling!