Personal, Pastoral Reflections for 2020
A New Year’s Eve tradition is sitting down to read my journal entries over the past 12 months. It’s a sweet time to reminisce over God’s provision and faithfulness. I especially enjoy seeing how God has answered specific prayers, sometimes with a gracious “yes,” sometimes with a loving “no,” and sometimes with a “Keep praying, wait, and hold tight.”
This year, the undeniable, personal joys were the birth of Makaiya and the precious hours of family time in a year where it’s mainly been lockdown. Some of the sweetest sights in our home have been watching our girls dance to worship; the sweetest sounds have been hearing them sing or repeat Bible verses they’ve learned. These sights and sounds melt a father’s heart.
But there have also been bitter providences that we accept by the Lord’s hand. Back in March, I lost my grandfather because of old-age. In July, I lost Pastor Arul due to COVID-19. My first overseas trip was with him. I shadowed him in India for two weeks when I was a freshman in college. He could have stayed in the states with his family but his heart longed to be with his people, especially those poor and needy associated with his church. As a result of this bold, radically loving decision, he lost his life. But it is not a tragedy. Whenever you lose your life for Jesus’ sake, that is truly the unwasted life, the abundant life. He has now received his promise of a crown. When I think back on my own journey and why I’m in Boston planting a church, the “seeds” of that ambition were first sowed into my heart due to my time with him. It was hard to see him go. But in the Lord’s giving and in his taking away, I give him praise.
When I think about our church, God has been gracious to us. In the year of 2020 only, we have had 5 moving transitions: the Tobin School to the Fenway School, then moving to virtual, then moving to micro-groups, then moving to Forsyth Park, and finally, moving to the Boston Marriott Hotel. Who knows what awaits us next? And yet, not only has God sustained us, but he has grown us both spiritually and numerically. There has been a renewed peace that “our times are in his hands” (Ps. 31:15) and he works all things for our good (Romans 8:28). This is true individually and corporately.
We have seen God strengthen our partnerships with the Fenway School (supporting homeless students), the Alice Taylor (working toward creating a big brother, big sister program), and the Tobin Community Center (one of the program coordinators has been sending students interested in reading the Bible to us). All of these were prayers answered for this year.
Back on Jan. 12th, I wrote in my journal our hope to see a campus organization started at Northeastern. It’s not that there aren’t many Christian organizations at NEU, but there aren’t many connected to the local church. And in the fall, we saw a campus group come to us. How sweet it has been to get to know these students and their hunger for growing in their relationship with Jesus.
Again back on Jan. 12th, another prayer was that God would send us laborers for the city. Our heart is to see people mobilized all over the world to hard places with a passion to see God’s glory made known. And because we want to see a gospel movement happen in Boston, I’ve been praying specifically for God to move in the hearts of 50 people to say “yes” to this city over the next 5 years. Specific prayers lead to specific answers which lead to specific praise. Over this year alone, we’ve seen 7 people say “yes” to this city after graduation. Some have moved, some graduated and decided to stay, and some will be moving. How amazing!
I’m proud of many of you in the ways you’ve made kingdom based decisions. You have not fallen for the American Dream or the consumeristic mindset. You’ve put God first. You’ve stepped up in serving, in giving, and leading others to follow Jesus. You’ve decided to be the seed that falls to the ground and dies so it can bear fruit (John 12:24). I love this church, and I’m grateful God allows me to pastor it.
As the year draws to a close, can I encourage you in this? Spend some time today and tomorrow--a few hours, half a day--getting alone with God and jotting down prayers you’d like to see God answer. I have four categories I think through: What do I want God to do in me? What do I want God to do through me? What do I want God to do around me--think my church and my city? What do I want God to do beyond me--places I alone cannot reach but I want to see God work? And be specific as possible.
One final thing. This year, unlike any other, has been a gift in terms of time to read--not just the Word but supplemental books that fan the flame of faith. As hard as it is to narrow down the list to three, I want to share the books that have been most impactful for me this year, as it relates to God shaping and forming my heart more into that of Jesus’:
Humility: Beauty of Holiness by Andrew Murray
Weakness is the Way by J.I Packer
Amy Carmichael: Beauty for Ashes by Iain Murray
King’s Hill, make pursuing Jesus everything this year. There will be many demands on your time. But do not neglect the nourishing of your soul. Remember, the people of God and the Word of God keep us close to God. Especially after reading these books above, there is greater and deeper conviction of Jesus’ words when he says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Abide = strength, happiness, fruit. Apart = powerless, helpless, withering. Live the abiding life in 2021. Live out bold faith this year!