The Humility of Saying “No”
Busyness and Pride
The pride comes before the fall, is a common anecdote that we say and apply to a myriad of situations. A co-worker flaunts their promotion and gets fired a week later; pride comes before the fall, we think. The opposing football team mocks our team, then loses the game; pride comes before the fall, we think. This biblical sentiment is often used but not in the context of busyness. I argue that the problem of over-busyness is rooted in pride, and sometimes humility is found in being able to say no.
The Apostles Decision: To Stay Devoted or Give Up
In Acts 6, the early church is faced with a problem. The Hellenists (Greek speaking Jews) have a conflict with the Hebrews (Aramaic speaking Jews.) The Hellenists' widows are being neglected in the daily distribution. This issue is presented to the apostles and they are met with a choice, do they “give up preaching the word of God” to attend to this need? Or do they stay devoted to “prayer and the ministry of the word” saying no, and appoint others that responsibility?
The apostles respond to this issue by gathering all of the disciples, and saying, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word (Acts 6:2-4.)”
When faced with the decision to take this issue as their responsibility, the apostles say no and appoint others for the role. Initially, this may appear to be a prideful choice on the part of the apostles. Do they think they are too good to serve the widow’s needs? Do they think that role is beneath them? But rather than being an act of pride, it is an act of humility. The apostles recognize their limitations. They recognize that by taking up this issue as their responsibility, they would both be giving up what the Lord has called them to do, and would be removing an opportunity for others to serve.
Imagine if the apostle's response had been the opposite. If instead of humbly saying no to this opportunity, they took it upon themselves. The apostles were given a special role from the Lord, they were appointed to spread the gospel and establish the church. Being that the church in Acts is the early church, that is, very new, the apostles' role and dedication to it was crucial. If the very people God chose to establish the church, gave that up, to, as the apostles word it, “serve tables,” how devastating that would have been for the church!
The apostles unwillingness to take on the role of caring for the Hellenist’s widows was not their way of undermining the issue, or overlooking it. The issue is so pertinent to them that they assemble all of the disciples together, and appoint seven men to serve and care for the widows. The whole group was pleased by this decision. The needs of the widows were met, and “the word of God continued to increase, and the number of disciples multiplied greatly (Acts 6:7.)”
How A Culture of Busyness Has Infiltrated The Church
Our culture worships busyness. We flaunt our packed Google calendars. We say yes to every opportunity that comes our way. We love to be needed and we love to be depended upon. We complain about how tired we are as a way to inexplicitly say, “Look! I am so important!” If you relate to this, don’t worry you’re not alone in it.
Unfortunately, this cultural norm has bled into the church. We say yes to every ministry event, every serving opportunity, and every chance to step into leadership. We do so under the guise of being a “good” and “servant-hearted” christian, when the reality is our inability to say no comes from a deep rooted pride and a refusal to recognize our limited nature.
The Humility of Acknowledging Limitations
We are created limited. Psalm 103:14-16 describes this reality, “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.” We are created limited, God is limitless. Yet we struggle to acknowledge these limitations and desire to be limitless, an attribute God alone acquires. The prideful desire to be God is not a new sinful desire but reveals itself for the first time in Genesis 3, where the serpent tempts Eve by telling her that when she “eats of it (the tree of the knowledge of good and evil) her “eyes would be opened,” and she would be, “like God, knowing good and evil.” We weren’t created to have the limitlessness of the Lord, yet we so often willingly disobey him in pursuit of it.
Humility is saying no to responsibilities that do not align with what the Lord has asked you to do. It’s not that we intend on giving up what we have been called to do, but saying yes and taking on things that are not ours to take on, consequently means we will be giving up something. Being limited, we cannot faithfully strive for what the Lord has asked us to do and simultaneously do a million other things.
I would encourage you to take time praying, “Lord, what have you called me to do?” Then examine your schedule and parse out what responsibilities align with that calling, and what responsibilities are forcing you to give up the good works God has prepared for you. Humbly acknowledge your limitations. Fight the temptation to say “yes,” recognizing that we can be unashamedly limited because the God we serve is unlimited. Live a counter-cultural and surrendered life by humbly saying no.